I head out for my walk today…predominantly cloudy outside… and inside (if you know what I mean). Cranky would define my mood. I spot 2 older ladies up ahead and already I’m annoyed that they are laughing way too loud. Their joyful shrills felt like torpedoes in my ears. And let’s not mention that their idea of social distancing was to take up BOTH sides of the road. ‘What is wrong with people? Seriously? Could they be anymore self-absorbed? Don’t they know I need to pass?’ These feelings and thoughts reverberated through my body like nails on a chalk board.
“I AM SO CRANKY!” It just flew out of my mouth – OUT LOUD! I think I was flinging them out for God to hold. Sometimes feelings are just too much for ANY one person to hold alone. I stopped…dead in my tracks. Closed my eyes. I took a breath. I took a deeper breath. And then I felt this warmth come across the skin of my face. Opening my eyes, I saw the sun beaming through the clouds as though my prayer had reached somewhere greater beyond myself.
I smiled and laughed. The stress and judgements and rigidity permeating my attitude and body began to melt and soften. I imagined all the negativity draining out through the bottoms of my feet and being transformed by the earth into healing light.
It made me remember a saying I have heard often. “We can start our day over at any point.” The best way for me to do that is to first Name It. I had to own my crappy attitude and feelings. Then I had to be willing to connect to an energy greater than myself for a little help and guidance.
For the rest of the walk, I decided to list some things I am grateful for, even some silver linings that this current “Stay at home” situation has provided. I decided to start my day over!